Self Control is a Part of Self-care

Frustration is common for teachers, and self-control is a skill you can strengthen with practice. Here’s a practical toolkit you can start using right away, plus longer-term strategies you can build into your routine.

Immediate, in-the-moment strategies (quick wins)

Stop, breathe, and pause

Do 3–5 slow breaths (inhale 4 counts, exhale 6 counts). Give yourself a moment before responding.

Name the emotion, then act

Say to yourself (or out loud if appropriate): “I’m feeling frustrated. I’m going to pause and choose my response.”

Use a pre-planned signal or pause

Have a cue like “Pause” or a timer. Tell students, “We’ll take 60 seconds to reset,” then use the time to collect yourself.

Use a simple de-escalation script

To a student: “I see you’re upset. I’m here to help. Let’s take a quick break and come back in two minutes.”

To the class: “I know this is noisy. We’ll reset in 60 seconds. Everyone, quiet voice level 2.”

Create a quick boundary and move

If possible, step to the side or move closer to calm students or away from a triggering area for a moment to regain control.

Micro-communication scripts (practice these)

“I hear your frustration. We’ll solve this together, calmly.”

“I need us to return to our task with quiet voices. We’ll revisit in two minutes.”

“I’m going to pause for a moment to think about the best next step.”

Longer-term practices (build these into your routine)

🟣 Proactive classroom design

Clear expectations: 3–5 simple rules with consistent consequences.

🟣 Predictable routines: transitions, bell-work, and start-of-class activities reduce friction.

🟣Proximity and nonverbal support: circulate, use light eye contact, or a calm hand signal to re-engage students before problems escalate.

🟣Emotional regulation skills

Daily mini-practice: 5 minutes of mindfulness or breathing before class or after lunch.

🟣Cognitive reframing: remind yourself “This is challenging, not personal. I have tools to handle it.”

🟣Self-talk: use brief, constructive statements like “I can handle this. The best next step is…”

🟣Thoughtful reflection and learning

Keep a short “frustration log”: note triggers, what you did, what helped, and what you’ll try next time.

🟣Debrief with a trusted colleague: share a tough moment and get a second perspective or a de-escalation idea.

Boundary setting and support

Delegate or share planning with teammates; request admin or counselor support when needed.

Build a small support network for quick check-ins after difficult days.

Self-care outside of class

Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and regular physical activity.

Schedule micro-breaks during the day (even 2–3 minutes of stretching or a quick walk).

Maintain hobbies and social time to recharge.

Specific, ready-to-use practices you can adopt this week

1-minute grounding routine: at the start of each class, take one minute for quiet breathing and a silent "check-in" of how you’re feeling.

One pre-planned script for common triggers (e.g., behavior during transitions): “We are going to line up calmly. If you’re ready, show me with a quiet voice; if not, you’ll have a 60-second delay.”

“Pause card” or “signal” for yourself and students: a visible cue that you’re taking a moment, after which you resume with a calm voice.

A simple 4-step plan for escalation: Recognize emotion → Pause → State a boundary → State the next step

Example: “I’m frustrated. I’m going to pause. Please raise a quiet hand so we can discuss the expectation. Next, we’ll return to the task.”

When to seek extra support

If frustration leads to frequent loss of control or aggressive behavior from students, talk to your supervisor or school counselor about de-escalation training, support staffing, or safety planning.

If you’re experiencing persistent burnout, consider professional support (counselor, coach) and discuss workload management with administration.

A quick starter week plan

Day 1: Pick one breathing technique (e.g., 4-7-8) and practice it 3 times at the start and end of each class.

Day 2: Introduce a single pause cue and one classroom script for common triggers.

Day 3–4: Add a 2-minute daily reflection routine (what triggered you, what helped, what to try next time).

Day 5: Start a short frustration log to identify top triggers and successful strategies.

Weekend: Review what worked, adjust rules/routines as needed, set one small self-care goal for the week.

Frustration is a frequent challenge among educators, and self-control is a capability that can be enhanced through deliberate practice. One can integrate the above immediately usable toolkit and the additional long-term strategies into their routine and reap the benefits of a calm and controlled demeanor and environment.